Our Halloween festivities this year have been dampened a bit by a rash of horrific crimes. Here’s hoping that sharing them with you will lessen the likelihood that you will also find yourselves victimized.
First, there was this:
We made a Halloween tree this year. A fun, easy project with lots of appeal for little hands; I planned on dedicating a post to it, complete with a how-to tutorial. Then, tragically, it was vandalized.
Someone, or something ate most of the candy corn pieces from the handmade garland that adorned this tree. There was likely a large amount of hot glue consumed at the same time. We were shaken, to be sure, and didn’t want to risk a second attack by rebuilding the garland, so it stands today as a reminder of our misfortune.
And last night, while happily carving our pumpkins, we were hit again by what we can only believe was the same culprit. Amidst the giggling, singing, and jubilant carving, the top of Isadora’s wee little pumpkin went missing. Under our very noses, no less. A thorough search of the premises confirmed that it wasn’t merely misplaced; we had been the target of a burglary. Right under our noses.
The always-resourceful Daddio was able to fashion a makeshift headpiece for the maimed jack o’ lantern, and we continued our ceremonial lighting of the pumpkins despite the attack.
Evidence gathered by eyewitnesses has led us to narrow the list of suspects to one main culprit. She’s got a rap sheet a mile long, ranging from petty larceny to gross misconduct. We’re pretty confident we’ve identified the perpetrator of these Halloween crimes, and have issued a warrant for her arrest.
She goes by the name Lucy, but we’ve identified these aliases also associated with her: Snora Bones, Bones Malone, Bones-a-Roni, and most recently, Bones Baloney. She’s notorious in the criminal underground for her mesmerizing “puppy dog eyes,” a tactic she uses to temporarily hypnotize her victims while subconsciously convincing them to offer her their food. If you see her, please DO NOT (DO NOT!) feed her, no matter how small the bite, and report her to the authorities immediately.
It’s a shame that a festive celebration like Halloween should be marred with such disregard for personal property. A sorry shame.