Drop your sword.
We’ve a pirate recipe to share with ye.
1 Women’s Corduroy Jacket, size 1X, 1980’s style, complete with Michael Jackson “Thriller” style shoulders
1 baby size romper, in purple velour (not pictured)
Magic sewing kit: scissors, sewing machine, pins, a bit of courage
Pirate Gear: hook, sword, eye patch, ratty black wig, skeleton fabric for head scarf
Red and white striped tights from Momma’s personal stash
Velour romper: Cut top half off, reserve the ruffles and scraps for later. Make simple casing at the new waist, add elastic, sew. Pirate Bloomers: done.
Jacket: Fit on the pirate subject. Pin, cut, sew.
(Best done with subject wearing Pirate Bloomers)
From scraps of jacket, fashion a fancy pirate ruffle for jacket waist.
In the same spirit of flamboyant pirate style, fashion some ruffle sleeves.
Add ruffles from velour romper to front of jacket. Fashion a skull and crossbones applique from remaining romper scraps for an unmistakable show of Pirate allegiance.
Garnish with remaining ingredients.
Set out to surrounding neighborhoods to plunder sugary loot.
Chef’s note: While this is my first commission from a pirate, it has ultimately been the biggest, most dramatic garment reconstruction ever attempted (and completed!). It will no doubt open the door to commissions from other professions, which adds some job security. Pirates are a shifty sort.