It’s high time I dedicate a post to the latest resident of Five Green Acres.
Ladies and Gentlemen: There’s a new sheriff in town. His name is Chuck Norris.
He took over as Head of the Chicken Harem shortly after the passing of Dapper Dan, transferring from his post at a friend’s local coop to our humble congregation. The transition was smooth, albeit not without the requisite get-to-know-ya period for all of us. We approached each other with a modicum of caution, carefully circling the perimeter of each other’s personal space, trying to establish some mutual respect. After about a week, Andrew realized that his name could only be Chuck Norris. It was one of those realizations that hits you smack in the jaw, so blatantly obvious that it goes almost unseen. Of course his name is Chuck Norris.
For one, he’s not exactly a Spring Chicken. In the later part of his prime, he’s demonstrated himself as seasoned, calculated, and not quick to overreact. He’s red. He’s a good leader, with excellent communication skills and the ability to mobilize his flock. He’s gentle and kind. A nice guy, in fact, unless you pose a threat to his Ladies. This is where he shines, of course, transforming from Mr. Niceguy into Sheriff. He fights with his feet, his spurs, in a form of martial arts known as Ass-Kicking.
And perhaps the most compelling fact of all: Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
We learned this and all sorts of other things about him from the website Chuck Norris Facts. Go ahead – arm yourself with the facts.
So we’re all sleeping a bit easier around here with him on the job. And waking easier too, with his early morning calls for justice.