Oh, I’m so excited to show you my newest sweater! Such a labor of love it was, from start to finish. What a joy! I had been waiting to knit this up for a long time – a few weeks ago I mustered the courage to begin. For the yarn, I sought out the fattest wool I could find. I would have liked a color with more personality than this pale shade, but it turned out I had few choices at this gauge. For the pattern, I searched and searched for a design with enough bobbles (those pod-things that make this a killer sweater) to satisfy my intense desire for a truly 3D, almost sculptural garment. What I found was only mildly satisfying, so I doubled the amount of bobbles called out in the pattern (25) then multiplied by pi (157). Not hardly enough, I muttered. So then I measured the circumference of my fattest pregnant ewe’s belly (109 inches!) and added this to the tally: 266 bobbles. Perfect. For this pattern, a bobble every 10 stitches got me the 266 I was after. Easy.
Then I knit. Bobble after bobble, with beads of euphoria-induced perspiration running down my upper lip. Fat yarn + the perfectly-proportioned, brilliantly-engineered bobble = sweet, fat, protruding bobbles at every turn. Just delicious, I shrieked as the sweater was coming to life before my eyes. I couldn’t wait to wear it. In public.
The last step was to disassemble a gossamer bow from a dried flower wreath I had made in 1991, so that I could weave it through the sweater’s perimeter, giving it strength and even more style.
And then I wore it. In public. You should have seen the way the bobbles just came to life as I filled the sleeves with my eager arms. I nearly cried with joy. And someone liked it so much, they wrote me a check for $250 on the spot.
Mwaaaaaaah haaaaaaa haaaa!
The facts: found the sweater in a thrift store. It is handknit. The sleeves are crazy-long. I do actually love the color and the gauge of the yarn; it seems to be of high quality. I plan on frogging (unraveling) it and knitting up something with less……………protrusions. I will not salvage the ribbon. But the abalone button is nice. Make that zero protrusions. Someone did actually write me a check on the spot, but it was not because of the sweater. It was because I had the winning raffle ticket. (though, with this sweater in my possession, I had already won, right?)
Happy April 1st.