Five Green Acres Mary Jo + Andrew Borchardt fivegreenacres@gmail.com Poynette, WI
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This might be my favorite sweater of all.

This might be my favorite sweater of all.
April 1, 2013 Mary Jo

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Oh, I’m so excited to show you my newest sweater!  Such a labor of love it was, from start to finish. What a joy!  I had been waiting to knit this up for a long time – a few weeks ago I mustered the courage to begin.  For the yarn, I sought out the fattest wool I could find. I would have liked a color with more personality than this pale shade, but it turned out I had few choices at this gauge.  For the pattern,  I searched and searched for a design with enough bobbles (those pod-things that make this a killer sweater) to satisfy my intense desire for a truly 3D, almost sculptural garment.  What I found was only mildly satisfying, so I doubled the amount of bobbles called out in the pattern (25) then multiplied by pi (157).  Not hardly enough, I muttered.  So then I measured the circumference of my fattest pregnant ewe’s belly (109 inches!) and added this to the tally: 266 bobbles.  Perfect. For this pattern, a bobble every 10 stitches got me the 266 I was after. Easy.

Then I knit. Bobble after bobble, with beads of euphoria-induced perspiration running down my upper lip.  Fat yarn + the perfectly-proportioned, brilliantly-engineered bobble = sweet, fat, protruding bobbles at every turn.  Just delicious, I shrieked as the sweater was coming to life before my eyes.  I couldn’t wait to wear it.  In public.

The last step was to disassemble a gossamer bow from a dried flower wreath I had made in 1991, so that I could weave it through the sweater’s perimeter, giving it strength and even more style.

And then I wore it.  In public.  You should have seen the way the bobbles just came to life as I filled the sleeves with my eager arms.  I nearly cried with joy.  And someone liked it so much, they wrote me a check for $250 on the spot.

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April Fools!

Mwaaaaaaah haaaaaaa haaaa!

The facts: found the sweater in a thrift store.  It is handknit.  The sleeves are crazy-long. I do actually love the color and the gauge of the yarn; it seems to be of high quality.  I plan on frogging (unraveling) it and knitting up something with less……………protrusions. I will not salvage the ribbon.  But the abalone button is nice.  Make that zero protrusions.  Someone did actually write me a check on the spot, but it was not because of the sweater.  It was because I had the winning raffle ticket. (though, with this sweater in my possession, I had already won, right?)

Happy April 1st.

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